Recently, I met with a friend for lunch. We hadn’t seen each other in a while, so I was waiting to hear all the new tea! When we got onto the topic of relationships, I could see she became a little uneasy. I asked her what had happened and she shared that her and her boyfriend had broken up a few weeks ago. She also told me that his reasoning was that she wanted “too much.” Naturally, I inquired about what exactly it was that she was asking of him. In the middle of sobbing, she said,”I just wanted him to be committed to me, communicate his feelings to me, show affection, go out of his way to do special things for me once in a while.. I just wanted him to love me, you know?”
My response was, “But why would YOU be crying though?” She looked at me confused as if I was being insensitive to her feelings.
Too often, we give other people our power. There is something to be said about loving people who do not love you back in the same way. There is a large difference between having extremely high expectations that are difficult to fulfill versus a person choosing not to fulfill basic expectations. There is a quote that I’ve seen floating around Instagram and Twitter quite often that explains this concept. “The wrong person will have you thinking you are asking for too much, when it’s really them who can’t offer you that much.” (unknown author)
No matter who you are dating, don’t ever let anyone tell you that “you want too much.” You will always be too much for those that are not willing or able to give you what you need. While it is hurtful that the person you chose to love, does not fulfill the expectations you have in a relationship – there are plenty others out there ready and waiting.
You do not have to give up any part of who you are in order to be loved the way you’d like. The right person will come and love every part of you. It is your job to know your worth and refuse to settle for anything less. So no, you’re not “doing too much” and no you don’t need to change anything about yourself. He/She did you a favor by revealing that they are unworthy of your love.
The wait gets lonely, it’ll suck a little, but I promise – the right one is coming!