Most mornings before work I try to head into the Dunkin Donuts down the street from my job. While it isn’t Starbucks, a DD large iced caramel latte gets me right every time. Anywhoo, sometimes I park my car and go inside to place my order rather than wait in the long drive-thru line. Each time I go inside, I see the same man and each day he’s guaranteed to ask for my number. My response most days is, “I’m sorry I’m running so late for work!” Though he’s handsome, I’m just not interested. However, one day he caught me off guard. I arrived at the store a little earlier than usual, taking my time, phone in hand, not realizing he was watching. He walked up to me and said,” I see you’ve got the time today, strolling in here looking all good. And you’ve got your phone out.. you must have known you’d see me.” Feeling cornered, I gave in and gave him my number. He walked away smiling and I walked away feeling regret. Not only was I not interested, but why would I give him my number?! Now I can’t show my face in this Dunkin Donuts ever again! He texted me several times over the next few days – each time I read his texts, waited hours to reply, told him I was busy, and sent only short responses. For whatever reason, I preferred him to take the hint so that he’d choose to no longer be interested. Needless to say, he didn’t and I had to block him (sigh).
What is Curving?
While this example is definitely one of my politer approaches to curving, it is indeed “curvature”. So, what is curving exactly? Most people believe that any form of rejection is considering curving, but I’d beg to differ. Curving a person is when you indirectly let someone know you’re not interested, hence the term curve – you tend to go around the direct approach. A woman saying that she is not interested in dating a man because she is not attracted to him is not curving, it is honesty. Furthermore, a woman pretending to be busy, acting disinterested, but never directly saying so is most definitely curving. Unlike “ghosting”, the curvers continue to respond to your texts and calls, however they do so in a pattern that is unpredictable and out of convenience.
Hints That You’re Being Curved
- The person you are interested in is only available for conversations when it works for them.
- You are often first to initiate conversations
- Responses are short or one-worded
- Responses to your texts are always late with vague excuses such as, “I was busy”, “I’m too tired”, “Can’t tonight”
- Conversations regarding commitment, labels, or defining your relationship are avoided
- THE BIGGEST ONE – Their read receipt is on and they’ve read your message but didn’t respond!
Never get caught slipping and fall victim to the curve! The moment you notice signs of the curvature, leave the person alone completely. Regardless of how interested you may be in a person, do not allow anyone to treat you less than amazing.