Divine Femininity
If you know anything about Kevin Gates, whether it’s his music, his influence, his record label, his brand or businesses – then you know Dreka Gates. Dreka Gates is the wife and long-time sweetheart of Kevin Gates. She is the co-founder of Bread Winners Association record label alongside her husband, as well as creative director and manager for Kevin and other artists alike. In recent years, she has taken more time to focus on herself by creating a wellness brand that includes clothing, journals, skincare, crystals, and candles. Over the years, I’ve grown extremely inspired by Dreka as she tackles so many industries and grows as a philanthropist, while seemingly keeping family and positivity at the forefront of her image.
As I scrolled through Instagram the other day, I saw a friend post a caption from one of Dreka’s pictures, a portion of it read:
My entire life, I mainly operated in my masculine, not realizing the power in my feminine, in being a WOMAN and embracing all that comes with that. I understand now that I am a cyclical being. Its right for me to experience different emotions throughout the month, its right for me to be the receiver rather than the giver and it’s ok for me to be loving, to be nurturing, to also receive love, to be “soft” and still get shit done!
I instantly reposted because this resonated so much with the transitional space I am in. As I have been doing the work on myself, I have recognized how much masculine energy I have carried to survive. Throughout my life, I’ve watched my mother carry so many things on her back in a way that almost seemed effortless. I learned so much from my mother and the woman around me about what it means to be a strong independent black woman. From a very young age, my parents could tell you that it was super important to me to be able to take care of things by myself – I think some of this was natural, while some of it was instilled in me.
For both my undergraduate and graduate years I lived in Baltimore, with no family close by. Of course, I created and maintained my own relationships with colleagues and friends, but because I was in another city it was important to be self-sufficient and strong. For me that meant never depending on anyone, showing up with a strong personality, often being upset about things I wasn’t in control of, suppressing my fears and replacing them ego. To survive, I operated in a masculine energy to protect myself because I had believed that was what independent women were supposed to do. I was displaying an outward, leading, aggressive form of energy because I never wanted anyone to feel I could be taken advantage of.
It is now as a mother and girlfriend that I am realizing how much more feminine I’d like to be. I am working to be still enough to be in touch with myself. A woman that pays attentions to her thoughts, feelings, and needs. I’ve learned that there is power in being nurturing, and soft, but grounded with strong boundaries. Moreover, the ideology and stereotype of being a strong black woman may not always parallel with embracing full femininity - the pressure, experiences, and dominance associated with being an SBW. I have started to believe that a woman who has unlocked her full femininity is beyond powerful.
